By Sean Ayres
The LNP’s criticism of the ABC has reached a climax today as cabinet voted to replace the ABC with Murdoch’s student magazine.
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By Sean Ayres
John claims that the only way that he got over this issue was to shut himself inside, pull out a bottle of cheap red and cry and drink himself to sleep.
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By Sean Ayres
This comes after recent revelations that his Curtin counterparts have successfully one up-ed him by moving within the Labor-dominated Guild to disaffiliate Socialist Alternative.
The disafilliation follows allegations that the club often acts like dickheads during student elections and other campaigns.
By Thomas Wendt
Creative Writing student Joe Malcom, after a week of procrastinating his assignments, bravely chose to plagiarise an entire chapter of “Gone with the Wind” and hoped that Urkund hasn’t heard of it..
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By Sean Ayres
“It’s really sad you know, because these kids will never know that sweet taste of Sriracha mayo or the ability to buy a mediocre meal for $5 on campus”
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By Sarah Smit
In breaking news today, it has been revealed that at least 16 million entirely mute Australians are hanging out at Pauline Hanson's place.
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By Thomas Wendt
“Look, to be honest, I came up with the headline first, and didn’t really think about what was going to go in the article” said Thomas in a statement to himself.
Read MoreBy Thomas Wendt
For this story, pick up a copy of our physical edition at any METIOR stand around Murdoch Campus.
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“Hanging is too quick a death for the damage they have down to our great nation. Crucifixion would be a more fitting punishment,” comments Glen, a retiree who sometimes watches the Big Bash.
Read MoreBy Sean Ayres
A widely-ranging conversation finally ventured into the area of campus romance as Jessica expressed her distaste at Murdoch University’s desolate dating scene.
"I'm so alone. *laughs* There's just no dating options around - decent guys never seem interested in me."
Read MoreBy Sean Ayres
In other news, the UWA guild released a list of banned topics of conversation on campus. In this list included border disputes in the South China Sea and former Australian politician Sam Dastyari’s undisclosed donations from Chinese businessmen.
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By Sarah Smit
In an impressive display of utter contempt for Perth's world class specialty coffee scene, a BAR100 tutor was seen today getting a coffee from a vending machine not ten metres from Bang Bang Specialty Coffee Vendors.
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By Sarah Smit
In a feat of survivalism to wow Bear Grylls, Murdoch psychology student, Brian Williams, has survived for two days exclusively on vending machine chips.
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