“There's just no decent guys on campus.” Explains Attractive Female to Unattached Male Lab Partner

By Sean Ayres

A man who fancies himself as at least a solid 6/10 was today blindsided by a conversation with his attractive female lab partner.

Since beginning of semester, Dave Thomas and Jessica Tate have passed the time in their COM109 tute with witty banter and the occasional class discussion exercise. After three months, the pair have reached the stage in their acquaintance where their conversations can no longer centre on speculating about the identity of the person who keeps ragging on the communists on Confessions at Murdoch.

A widely-ranging conversation finally ventured into the area of campus romance as Jessica expressed her distaste at Murdoch University’s desolate dating scene.

"I'm so alone. *laughs* There's just no dating options around - decent guys never seem interested in me."

The very obviously single Dave was left with more questions than answers.

“Is this what the friendzone feels like? Is she trying to flirt with me? Is Murdoch’s campus culture seriously this dead?”

Sources say Dave answered with a nervous giggle saying that he was sure she would have no issues finding interested single guys on campus. After an appropriate length of time discussing platonic topics, Dave proposed going to the Tavern for a drink after class.

“Stay at university after class? Do you think this is UWA or something?”