OPINION: IN A SPICY 2018, IS 4 COMPUTERS ENOUGH TO MEME FREELY?

By Jonathon Davidson
Sponsored by Ripcurl

Did you know the library only has four computers available for the alumni community? That's fucked, right?

That's pretty much my article. Anyway, I'll expand:

The spectre of scarcity haunts Murdoch.

What do you mean?
Jess, 21. Studying English.

Hey Jess, thanks for getting in touch.

If you're part of the alumni community, this is for you. Sheepish, first year muzhiks — you need not continue reading, nor need undergraduate participants enrolled in subsequent years thereof. Rather, this article is for those who have advanced their piece on the monopoly board of life, who chose one of the cool pieces, like the top hat — real, OG, out-there-on-the-street type characters, back-to-school-and-off-the-record movers and shakers. The innovators, descending down Merry Lane,  towards a future of eternal light, one of innocence and peace, formless and without name.

I'm talking about the alumni community.

That's people who've graduated, right?
Mike, 19. Studying "Sports Science".

That's right, Mikhael — the unemployed.

We've only got four computers we can use in the library. I am pretty sure under the Geneva Convention, that is illegal. I am not sure which section of the document. It may be an addendum, but it's probably in there. At any rate, the onus of proof isn't on me to go out of the way to provide evidence. I attended centrelink last week, okay, so how about instead, you look it up on your own computer, maybe the one you've literally got right in front of you, Karen, okay, is that cool?

Why does literally any of this matter?
Joe, 18. Studying Geology.

Sweet Joe, There are a litany of problems with the world today, which we know full well, because it's all they goddamn talk about at university. The International Criminal Court, still infantile, may one day truly provide the model for international accountability and governance it envisions. Consider, for example, the descending trajectory of funding for public libraries and digital rights groups in the last decade. We see progressive action in small enclaves of supporting areas, but a larger picture is obvious — in late-modern free market society, there is a societal degradation of the public's dormant background impetus to engage meaningfully the policy decisions surrounding deeper and more abstract desires for a shared but personal union with tenements of accessible knowledge, which, in 2018, to the common and rational observer, probably looks something like having more than four computers in a library. If there was some kind of palpable advancement with the ICC, we could maybe apply rights of the living being to cultural sectors, and sue for criminal negligence. That's what this article is about, now.

Why do you need to spoil it by swearing?
Alex, 23. Studying Animal Science.

Consider, as all the tutors insist upon doing, the Greeks:  

Nah, I'm just having a bit of a laugh. Ha-ha.

Nothing serious, guys.

I don't know anything about Greeks anyway, because there's only four computers.