The Verge

I feel like I live my life constantly on the verge of something. It’s a little hard to pin down exactly what that something is. It moves on a scale from terrible to wonderful. I realised that there was something I have seen happen to the universe. As if someone has flipped a switch and lights everywhere have begun to switch on and off.

Sometimes the verge is the edge of a cliff. You are standing there with your toes over the edge. It’s easy to think that maybe you could choose to take a step backwards to safety. Or maybe it would be easy to take a step forward over the edge and willingly fall into the abyss below. But how much control do we really have on the verge? The ground beneath you could crumble. The wind could blow a gale in any direction. The most frightening part of it all is the anticipation of what could happen if you were to fall.

But occasionally the verge looks a little different. Imagine you are standing in front of a closed door. You cannot see what is in there but you can hear things, the oddly comforting voices of people you may not know. There is a feeling deep within that something good, or something you want, or something fulfilling is on the other side. But what if it is not the way we imagine it to be? What if you misheard the sounds? Maybe the real danger is not missing out but walking through the door.

The verge is a strange phenomenon that seems to be ever present not just in my life but in the lives of the people around me. I fell off the cliff once, a few times in fact, but I always managed to climb back out and stand on the edge once again. It becomes a cycle I suppose. Of falling and climbing and falling again. You fear it every time. But I think it works the other way too. If a light can switch off, then it can switch on too.

Recently I saw a person I know, a friend of sorts, talk about a cliff of her own that she had fallen over. But for a few days now she feels like she has climbed back up the cliff face. Her verge has changed from a cliff to a door. She has turned the handle and begun to take a cautious step from a dark room into a lighter one. Watching her do it is incredible. It fills me with joy to see her open the door enough to let in a little bit of light. Her hopeful heart as she crosses the verge is a beacon for all to follow.